Hard to believe that its been three months since I was in Rwanda, gushing with excitement and adventure; its seemed like light years away but also like it was yesterday. So, what have I been up to?
A little preface...
Learning to move on with your life and not dwelling too long on things seems to be the crux of early twenty-somethings, at least thats my generalization. While opportunities are endless and even overwhelming to choose from, its also a time to confirm what you know about yourself and have the willpower to remind yourself every single day. Yet I am so excited to see where I will go and how my past and experiences can inform my becoming as a person. It's that crossroads times and I strive to find the balance between living now and seizing opportunities with focussed and driven goal-setting that is more long-term. That is where I am at. Maybe some of you can relate. I know myself, just searching for how to best express that self in a vocation and lifestyle.
August:
Upon the first week of coming back, my mom already had a potential job connection lined up for me to send my resume to, so why not? I had relevant experience but I was also underqualified for this job to be a Behavioural Intervention Therapist for children with autism. The use and knowledge of ABA techniques (basically derived from Skinner's operant conditioning for those who are curious) within an ethical clinical practice of behavioural intervention seemed way over my head at the time. But I still opted to apply for the instructor therapist position to see what comes of it; even volunteering. Within two weeks, the director asked me to come in to observe and be a volunteer for the last two weeks of summer camp. These two weeks were almost disorienting...my room was a mess, my baggage came a week later, my heart was aching and I was dreaming of Rwanda every night; even waking up wondering where my mosquito net was. Parts of it were unsettling and others I was surprisingly okay with; I wasn't necessarily ready to talk to anyone at length about it but I was still beaming and happy from what I had experienced. The director of the IBI (Intensive Behavioural Intervention) centre and school said they were willing to train me and offered me an in-vivo internship as an instructor therapist. How can I not take it, even just for the training? It was an opportunity for me to gain hard skills, a clinical placement and hands-on experience.
September:
By this time I was hired and already had 4-5 clients. I was learning the ropes, familiarizing myself with bussing and my colleagues (a mixture of Seneca College students, Masters students and people doing their placement hours). It didn't faze me too much that it was all way over my head; as with anything I committed to, I just dove in. It was a very stressful month of feeling "forced" to be disconnected from myself, my church, my other job in which I co-run the program with a committee and my parents (moving back in with them after 4 years living on my own). Some days it all got too much. I wasn't grasping my routine as well as I used to; everything was like slime that kept changing consistencies.
October:
UCC and the work they do there plus the experiences I had gained through being part of that community kept me going. I knew the skills I had gained working at this centre can be valuable for training or even informing a more proactive program at UCC. I also relished at being back there and making a bigger difference. It's a place I know my soul will be challenged alongside my intellect, but also where I learned to exercise the willpower to care for myself and not destructively handle my relationships in assumptions laced with insecurity. Afterall, learning to be gentle and caring to yourself will help more people than aimless giving. I struggled in that this month as I plateaued in my learning at work and had to find a new mentality to sustain my motivations. It's a time to focus, also not to forget.
What is coming up for me? Art. Social work. Creative living. Diversity. Ministry. Challenges. My long-term goal is to become an expressive arts therapist, taking clinical practice alongside the stuff of life (art in all its forms) to lead programs and create new approaches of using art and living artfully as a process of healing. And along the way, if I can do community development work alongside these pursuits; I'll be there. Time to work on my portfolio!
God Bless you in all your passions and pursuits! He gave them to you for a reason; so run flying with it :)
A little preface...
Learning to move on with your life and not dwelling too long on things seems to be the crux of early twenty-somethings, at least thats my generalization. While opportunities are endless and even overwhelming to choose from, its also a time to confirm what you know about yourself and have the willpower to remind yourself every single day. Yet I am so excited to see where I will go and how my past and experiences can inform my becoming as a person. It's that crossroads times and I strive to find the balance between living now and seizing opportunities with focussed and driven goal-setting that is more long-term. That is where I am at. Maybe some of you can relate. I know myself, just searching for how to best express that self in a vocation and lifestyle.
August:
Upon the first week of coming back, my mom already had a potential job connection lined up for me to send my resume to, so why not? I had relevant experience but I was also underqualified for this job to be a Behavioural Intervention Therapist for children with autism. The use and knowledge of ABA techniques (basically derived from Skinner's operant conditioning for those who are curious) within an ethical clinical practice of behavioural intervention seemed way over my head at the time. But I still opted to apply for the instructor therapist position to see what comes of it; even volunteering. Within two weeks, the director asked me to come in to observe and be a volunteer for the last two weeks of summer camp. These two weeks were almost disorienting...my room was a mess, my baggage came a week later, my heart was aching and I was dreaming of Rwanda every night; even waking up wondering where my mosquito net was. Parts of it were unsettling and others I was surprisingly okay with; I wasn't necessarily ready to talk to anyone at length about it but I was still beaming and happy from what I had experienced. The director of the IBI (Intensive Behavioural Intervention) centre and school said they were willing to train me and offered me an in-vivo internship as an instructor therapist. How can I not take it, even just for the training? It was an opportunity for me to gain hard skills, a clinical placement and hands-on experience.
September:
By this time I was hired and already had 4-5 clients. I was learning the ropes, familiarizing myself with bussing and my colleagues (a mixture of Seneca College students, Masters students and people doing their placement hours). It didn't faze me too much that it was all way over my head; as with anything I committed to, I just dove in. It was a very stressful month of feeling "forced" to be disconnected from myself, my church, my other job in which I co-run the program with a committee and my parents (moving back in with them after 4 years living on my own). Some days it all got too much. I wasn't grasping my routine as well as I used to; everything was like slime that kept changing consistencies.
October:
UCC and the work they do there plus the experiences I had gained through being part of that community kept me going. I knew the skills I had gained working at this centre can be valuable for training or even informing a more proactive program at UCC. I also relished at being back there and making a bigger difference. It's a place I know my soul will be challenged alongside my intellect, but also where I learned to exercise the willpower to care for myself and not destructively handle my relationships in assumptions laced with insecurity. Afterall, learning to be gentle and caring to yourself will help more people than aimless giving. I struggled in that this month as I plateaued in my learning at work and had to find a new mentality to sustain my motivations. It's a time to focus, also not to forget.
What is coming up for me? Art. Social work. Creative living. Diversity. Ministry. Challenges. My long-term goal is to become an expressive arts therapist, taking clinical practice alongside the stuff of life (art in all its forms) to lead programs and create new approaches of using art and living artfully as a process of healing. And along the way, if I can do community development work alongside these pursuits; I'll be there. Time to work on my portfolio!
God Bless you in all your passions and pursuits! He gave them to you for a reason; so run flying with it :)